Little blurbs

Today I visited our wedding registries online just to see our stuff...Pitiful.

I guess the upside of this is that once we do move and unpack, it'll be like Christmas or our Wedding Day all over again! Fun to unwrap everything, work to clean it up and put it away...

I have lots of thoughts lately but no energy to write them right now, maybe later.

I leave for Buffalo in a day and a half, and am really looking forward to a break from here. I'm looking forward to being distracted from current things I have no control over, and hopefully will be renewed by loving friends and family so that when I come back, I can focus on priorities that I've neglected.

Jeff has had an awful cold virus and I'm catching a little of it. My ears are getting plugged and my throat is sore. I just hope the ears don't pose a problem as I fly on Thursday.

The belly has still not popped out. I'm feeling more myself which is nice, but I'm waiting for the surge of energy everyone says will hit. I'm about 13-14 weeks now so hopefully soon I'll look like I'm having a baby!

I'm getting back on track with the Lord, which is always an exciting feeling.

In All Honesty

I'm thankful for the anonymous person who asked me some good questions about my New Mission post. I'm not so good at asking thought-provoking questions and so this was a welcome comment.

As I wrote that post, I was just starting to see behind the scenes. I hadn't yet thought of what exactly brought me to this point, or what I would actively do about it. I might have just gone on about what's been happening and what I think could/will happen, but instead I have refocused my thoughts on what I can do to be more active in my pursuit of God and His plan for my life and where I'm at right now.

I believe that there is a place for sitting and resting in Him as He works in and through us, but I also agree with what anonymous stated, "I truly believe it's when we act in some way that we are closer to the heart of God." Both bring us closer to God, both help us to see more the heart of God, both bring us deeper knowledge of God and ourselves.

Over the past 4 months, I've heard God's call to me. His gentle whisper speaking "Kelly, come and BE with Me. Talk to Me. Sit on My lap and rest in Me. Learn from Me. Listen to what I have to say. Let Me be your comfort, your guide." Sadly, I've never answered. If I'm really honest with myself, I know the reason why is my own laziness, selfishness.

It takes determination, dedication and patience to be with God. I'm not good at those things. I never have been. I don't even feel like I know how to "study" scripture. I'd rather He open up the clouds and shout down to me what He has to say, instead of me, sitting still before Him.

So, I've chosen time and again, to be distant from my Heavenly Father, who waits everyday for me. Everyday! I could've spent these last 4 months learning and growing, letting Him fill me up and make me whole, letting Him be my refuge and strength when the times are rough. My eyes tear up as I write, only half-knowing His love for me....He can take my head, hung in shame, and lift it to see His grace-filled eyes, as He beckons again for me to come to Him.

This is my honesty. This is my battle.