In All Honesty
I'm thankful for the anonymous person who asked me some good questions about my New Mission post. I'm not so good at asking thought-provoking questions and so this was a welcome comment.
As I wrote that post, I was just starting to see behind the scenes. I hadn't yet thought of what exactly brought me to this point, or what I would actively do about it. I might have just gone on about what's been happening and what I think could/will happen, but instead I have refocused my thoughts on what I can do to be more active in my pursuit of God and His plan for my life and where I'm at right now.
I believe that there is a place for sitting and resting in Him as He works in and through us, but I also agree with what anonymous stated, "I truly believe it's when we act in some way that we are closer to the heart of God." Both bring us closer to God, both help us to see more the heart of God, both bring us deeper knowledge of God and ourselves.
Over the past 4 months, I've heard God's call to me. His gentle whisper speaking "Kelly, come and BE with Me. Talk to Me. Sit on My lap and rest in Me. Learn from Me. Listen to what I have to say. Let Me be your comfort, your guide." Sadly, I've never answered. If I'm really honest with myself, I know the reason why is my own laziness, selfishness.
It takes determination, dedication and patience to be with God. I'm not good at those things. I never have been. I don't even feel like I know how to "study" scripture. I'd rather He open up the clouds and shout down to me what He has to say, instead of me, sitting still before Him.
So, I've chosen time and again, to be distant from my Heavenly Father, who waits everyday for me. Everyday! I could've spent these last 4 months learning and growing, letting Him fill me up and make me whole, letting Him be my refuge and strength when the times are rough. My eyes tear up as I write, only half-knowing His love for me....He can take my head, hung in shame, and lift it to see His grace-filled eyes, as He beckons again for me to come to Him.
This is my honesty. This is my battle.
As I wrote that post, I was just starting to see behind the scenes. I hadn't yet thought of what exactly brought me to this point, or what I would actively do about it. I might have just gone on about what's been happening and what I think could/will happen, but instead I have refocused my thoughts on what I can do to be more active in my pursuit of God and His plan for my life and where I'm at right now.
I believe that there is a place for sitting and resting in Him as He works in and through us, but I also agree with what anonymous stated, "I truly believe it's when we act in some way that we are closer to the heart of God." Both bring us closer to God, both help us to see more the heart of God, both bring us deeper knowledge of God and ourselves.
Over the past 4 months, I've heard God's call to me. His gentle whisper speaking "Kelly, come and BE with Me. Talk to Me. Sit on My lap and rest in Me. Learn from Me. Listen to what I have to say. Let Me be your comfort, your guide." Sadly, I've never answered. If I'm really honest with myself, I know the reason why is my own laziness, selfishness.
It takes determination, dedication and patience to be with God. I'm not good at those things. I never have been. I don't even feel like I know how to "study" scripture. I'd rather He open up the clouds and shout down to me what He has to say, instead of me, sitting still before Him.
So, I've chosen time and again, to be distant from my Heavenly Father, who waits everyday for me. Everyday! I could've spent these last 4 months learning and growing, letting Him fill me up and make me whole, letting Him be my refuge and strength when the times are rough. My eyes tear up as I write, only half-knowing His love for me....He can take my head, hung in shame, and lift it to see His grace-filled eyes, as He beckons again for me to come to Him.
This is my honesty. This is my battle.
posted by Kelly | 1:40 PM
1 Comments:
Thanks for your honesty. It's a struggle not far from my own. You are in my prayers today!
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