Will Hope Float?

In one of my favorite movies, the young character of Bernice is afraid of her first day of school in the new, unfamiliar town they've moved to. She feigns illness, but her Mom and Grandmother know better. They try to encourage her, to no avail. Finally, her Mom gives up and says to her as she walks away, "You're a likeable girl, Bernice. You are!"

I wish someone would say that to me these days.

I ventured out yesterday on my own, and after 3 months of always being with someone when I'm out, you'd think I'd savor being alone! Not so. I was actually afraid. Afraid of what, I'm not exactly sure. Maybe of getting lost and not having anyone to come and rescue me, of looking lost, like I don't belong, of not being liked...

I hated those feelings, and I don't know where it's coming from. I've always been adventuresome, have loved to be in new places, to meet new people. As the fear and uncertainty hit me, I kept thinking, what happened to me???

I don't know this area, am not settled yet and still have no friends here. I'm beginning to hate those three factors. I miss being familiar with places and people, I miss my home (definition of home right now: my own stuff in my own space with my own issues). I miss having a girlfriend or three that I can call at any moment and arrange to get together. I miss knowing and being known.

I think, when and how will I ever meet people, when will I get some good friends? Will I be a likeable girl?

The downside of the move is here. I knew it'd come sooner or later.

What a Day

This day will certainly go down in my book as one of my best days, I just loved every minute of it!

The sun is shining, I spent half of the work day w/ my honey and life is just so good.

I love days like today.

He Is Yahweh

The Hebrew verb 'to be' is the key to the meaning of Yahweh. But the word means more than just the fact that God exists. It speaks of God's self-existence, self-sufficiency and eternity but it also carries the meaning of 'to be or become a present reality'. It has the idea of God being our Redeemer. In Exodus 3:14 when God reveals himself as 'I am that I am', God was telling Moses more than the fact that God existed or even pre-existed. God was telling Moses that He was actively present as and when He choose. It was a reinforcement of the promise of verse 12; God would be revealed in the sovereign display of His power. God is a God of action, as is seen in the Exodus, as well as the Cross. This is His Name forever.

What a beautiful song I learned today. I had to share it with you:

He Is Yahweh, by Dean Salyn

Who is moving on the waters
Who is holding up the moon
Who is peeling back the darkness
With the burning light of noon
Who is standing on the mountains
Who is in the earth below
Who is bigger than the heavens
And the lover of my soul

Creator God, He is Yahweh
The Great I Am, He Is Yahweh
The Lord of All, He is Yahweh
Rose of Sharon, He is Yahweh
The Righteous Son, He Is Yahweh
The Three-in-One, He Is Yahweh

Who is He that makes me happy
Who is He that gives me peace
Who is He that brings me comfort
And turns the bitter into sweet
Who is stirring up my passion
Who is rising up in me
Who is filling up my hunger
With everything I need

Creator God, He is Yahweh
The Great I Am, He is Yahweh
The Lord of All, He is Yahweh
Rose of Sharon, He is Yahweh
The Righteous Son, He is Yahweh
The Three-in-One, He is Yahweh

You are holy and eternal
And forever You will reign
Every knee will bow before You
Every tongue will confess Your name
All the angels give You glory
As they stand before Your throne

And here on earth we gather
To declare Your name alone

Creator God, He is Yahweh
The Great I Am, He is Yahweh
The Lord of All, He is Yahweh
Rose of Sharon, He is Yahweh
The Righteous Son, He is Yahweh
The Three-in-One, He is Yahweh

To the Lord of All, the One who made me, redeemed me, the Lover of my Soul, my Jehovah Jireh, my Father...I love you. Thank You for the gift of music and for words, for the gift of Your family with whom I am privileged to sing with each week. Thank You for today.

First Marker

I've made it to the 10 pounder mark!!!!!

So excited, so excited.

Now it's on to the next 10, and then the next, and then the last! I'm really looking forward to this, and am so refreshed in my weight loss/health goals. I've finally realized that I cannot make this life change without God's help, His strength. I can't do it alone!

Today I've started the day early, which I'm also excited about. My desire is to be up in the morning to see my husband off to work, but he reminds me all the time that eventually I won't have this time to myself, I should soak it up now. How can you get out of the warm, cozy bed when you have a husband like that?! Well, although this is what he says, I know that it would make his morning brighter if I was up with him and saw him off, or had some breakfast with him. His tough exterior doesn't fool me!

So I'm up and I've already gotten a bunch of things done. I've been keeping a daily list which helps my productivity level during the days. Plus it makes me feel better when I can check things off, and of course when the dreaded question comes along: "So what do you do all day?"
Love that one.

I desire stability so much, and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because of my broken family growing up, maybe it's because of my fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants personality. Maybe it's because I want to have it all together. Who knows. But I want it, I crave it. I work much better under stress, on a schedule. Well being at home means you typically have your own schedule, now doesn't it? And in my mind's eye, I can see myself in the future, getting up early regularly, maybe even before anyone else is up, to have time by myself with God. I can see the day unfolding before me, and I can see myself in a good little routine. Today's a start to that!

Blog Illiterate

I would like to add some things to my blog site. I have no idea how to do this. What the heck does HTML mean? How can I add things, someone please help! Pretty Please!

My Servant Husband

My eyes flooded with tears upon seeing a homeless man under a bridge on our way home from Starbucks last night. As the cars rushed past this man, I wondered if people even took a second glance at him. Did they wonder who he was? Did they care?

As we drove, my emotions continued and I was suprised at how raw they were. I thought about how many more there are like him, standing out in the cold, late at night or in the early morn, begging. It didn't matter how he got there, but only that he was there. I said to Jeff, "Let's go back and give him my chai." It was the least I could do, maybe I would warm his heart, too.

We turned around and drove back a ways, hoping he was still there. He was. He smiled as Jeff handed him the warm drink, said in a raspy, loud voice "That sounds good!" He blessed us and we drove on.

It was a small gift, my chai and my prayer. But my husband gifted me too. He took me back, without complaint, without reservation, without trying to talk me out of it. As I wanted to serve someone, Jeffery served me selflessly. Jesus calls us to do just that.

Thank You My Love, for being like Jesus.