Will Hope Float?

In one of my favorite movies, the young character of Bernice is afraid of her first day of school in the new, unfamiliar town they've moved to. She feigns illness, but her Mom and Grandmother know better. They try to encourage her, to no avail. Finally, her Mom gives up and says to her as she walks away, "You're a likeable girl, Bernice. You are!"

I wish someone would say that to me these days.

I ventured out yesterday on my own, and after 3 months of always being with someone when I'm out, you'd think I'd savor being alone! Not so. I was actually afraid. Afraid of what, I'm not exactly sure. Maybe of getting lost and not having anyone to come and rescue me, of looking lost, like I don't belong, of not being liked...

I hated those feelings, and I don't know where it's coming from. I've always been adventuresome, have loved to be in new places, to meet new people. As the fear and uncertainty hit me, I kept thinking, what happened to me???

I don't know this area, am not settled yet and still have no friends here. I'm beginning to hate those three factors. I miss being familiar with places and people, I miss my home (definition of home right now: my own stuff in my own space with my own issues). I miss having a girlfriend or three that I can call at any moment and arrange to get together. I miss knowing and being known.

I think, when and how will I ever meet people, when will I get some good friends? Will I be a likeable girl?

The downside of the move is here. I knew it'd come sooner or later.