Homebirth...Or Not
We were leaving last night for an orientation at a birth center. Walking to the car, Jeff said enthusiastically, "I'm so excited for this, lover! It's our first step towards having a baby." "Not quite honey...more like the the second!" was my reply. Funny.
It was a good tour, we got to see the facility and meet some of the staff. It's a nice, clean place with lots of resources to borrow and has a breastfeeding store on the first floor. Each room has a birthing tub should you need it and overall, it was very inviting. I was pleasantly surprised, cause it seems like the places you see either on TV or on the web are cheesy, old-fashioned, countryish rooms that would make me cringe rather than make me feel relaxed and comfortable. They are definitely not easy on the eyes, but this one was!
We are debating where we will have our children. I have always wanted to have a homebirth for each of my children. My dream was that I would live in an old white farmhouse on a hill, complete with a stone/gravel driveway and a weeping willow off to the side. I'd live there my whole life, loving my husband, having and raising babies, sending them off and retiring with my love on the porch... Well it's obvious that the old white house I'll live in forever is not going to happen! But I'm still hanging on to the homebirth idea. It just seems so natural, so peaceful and comforting, so normal.
This was one of those things we talked about before we were even married. (What didn't we talk about??!) Jeff isn't too familiar with pregnancy/birth, etc. and so it didn't seem unusual to him. He agreed that it seemed better than a hospital birth, and so we assumed this is the route we'd take when the time came. When we prepared to move to MD, I researched homebirth and birthing centers to see what would be available to us. I was so thankful when I found out that homebirth isn't illegal here, as it is in NY. It looked like things would fall into place! Looking back, I'm thankful that I did that research, because not having a community to get good recommendations from is tough when you're trying to find good care!
When we found out I was pregnant, I called to set up an appointment with the midwife and that's when the picture started to unravel a little bit. I found out that we'll have to pay a portion of the cost of the homebirth because our insurance doesn't cover 100% of it--as opposed to having 100% of the birth center paid for. Ugh. I told Jeff that I would check out this birthing center and that I'd be open to it. I was, still am. I desire a homebirth, but I desire to honor my husband too. The best way I know how to do this is to pray about what I want, what he thinks is wiser, and to let God work in both of us to determine the outcome.
So that's where we're at right now. It's not tough, just thought-consuming some days. In the process, I've seen how the two of us have evolved over the months/years when it comes to differing opinions, goals, etc. I love seeing growth, especially between the two of us, and I love how it usually just hits me smack in the face as if to say 'Of course it's getting better, whaddya expect?!'
It was a good tour, we got to see the facility and meet some of the staff. It's a nice, clean place with lots of resources to borrow and has a breastfeeding store on the first floor. Each room has a birthing tub should you need it and overall, it was very inviting. I was pleasantly surprised, cause it seems like the places you see either on TV or on the web are cheesy, old-fashioned, countryish rooms that would make me cringe rather than make me feel relaxed and comfortable. They are definitely not easy on the eyes, but this one was!
We are debating where we will have our children. I have always wanted to have a homebirth for each of my children. My dream was that I would live in an old white farmhouse on a hill, complete with a stone/gravel driveway and a weeping willow off to the side. I'd live there my whole life, loving my husband, having and raising babies, sending them off and retiring with my love on the porch... Well it's obvious that the old white house I'll live in forever is not going to happen! But I'm still hanging on to the homebirth idea. It just seems so natural, so peaceful and comforting, so normal.
This was one of those things we talked about before we were even married. (What didn't we talk about??!) Jeff isn't too familiar with pregnancy/birth, etc. and so it didn't seem unusual to him. He agreed that it seemed better than a hospital birth, and so we assumed this is the route we'd take when the time came. When we prepared to move to MD, I researched homebirth and birthing centers to see what would be available to us. I was so thankful when I found out that homebirth isn't illegal here, as it is in NY. It looked like things would fall into place! Looking back, I'm thankful that I did that research, because not having a community to get good recommendations from is tough when you're trying to find good care!
When we found out I was pregnant, I called to set up an appointment with the midwife and that's when the picture started to unravel a little bit. I found out that we'll have to pay a portion of the cost of the homebirth because our insurance doesn't cover 100% of it--as opposed to having 100% of the birth center paid for. Ugh. I told Jeff that I would check out this birthing center and that I'd be open to it. I was, still am. I desire a homebirth, but I desire to honor my husband too. The best way I know how to do this is to pray about what I want, what he thinks is wiser, and to let God work in both of us to determine the outcome.
So that's where we're at right now. It's not tough, just thought-consuming some days. In the process, I've seen how the two of us have evolved over the months/years when it comes to differing opinions, goals, etc. I love seeing growth, especially between the two of us, and I love how it usually just hits me smack in the face as if to say 'Of course it's getting better, whaddya expect?!'
posted by Kelly | 10:57 AM
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